Today would have been my mom's 60th birthday. I had to chuckle a little to myself on how she probably would have celebrated today, in complete denial that she was 60! Every decade birthday that I can remember which would have been when she hit 40 and 50 she would take off of work and stay holed up in her house and not leave. She didn't cook, didn't do any household things just sit and sulk that she was older. It really was quite funny she was not one that embraced getting older too much at least in the numbers. She did not look her age at all and really for the most part didn't act like it. She had quite a bit of energy and was the social butterfly. Relationships were her thing. Except on her what you might say "momentous" birthdays. She did not see or really talk to very many people. It makes me laugh which is a good thing considering that most of the time when I think about her I can only think of how much I miss her.
I can say that for me fixing to hit her second anniversary of not being with me I still miss her a lot. The old saying "Time heals all", I think only pertains to physical wounds not emotional. Time really just makes me miss her more because I see with the mark of certain dates just how long it has been since I touched or talked with her. She was such a rock in my life. I have a hole that I don't believe will ever fully heal. Maybe it gets smaller with time and the feelings don't seem so fresh, but honestly that part of my life is gone and nothing can fill it. I have missed her tremendously over these last few weeks with the holidays and her birthday and Wed. is their anniversary. My dad is going to go in for hip replacement surgery at the end of this month and I know she will be on our minds through that. My dad won't have someone there with him through the whole process waiting on him hand and foot. Which my mom did all the time. I will be there as much as I can, but it won't be the same for him I know, and unfortunately no one in this house gets waited on hand and foot. There is too many people and not enough me :)
Time lessens the rawness of the hurt, but that is all it does. I miss you Mom and love you. Happy Birthday.
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3 comments:
Can't believe that's it's been that long since she left. Your right, that pain will never go away. My mom's been gone for 9 years and I miss her like she just left us. Love you.
I love you Johnna!
I thought a lot of your mom!
I can't believe her or dad or gone sometimes.
I often think of them just being away and I'll see them soon.
Girl, a lot of the time, your blogs bring tears to my eyes. They are rolling down over my cheeks now. It's so hard to lose someone you love so much!
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